a couple weeks ago we celebrated our third anniversary, again setting out for the north fork for a never ending flow of wine and mild inebriation. on the way up, we stopped by the halal chicken & rice in nyc. last time nate was told not to add too much hot sauce and felt it lacked flavor, so this time he asked the guy to douse it in hot sauce. the guy smirked and began pouring. we stood on the street while nate ate the entire plate in the time it took me to take a couple bites. half of his weekend was spent in the bathroom. we love going out to the north fork and hit up our favorites – the local brewery, sunday brunch, local bookstore, reminiscing about college and wincing at old pictures, barbecued seafood, sitting for hours in sun-drenched stupor, hanging out with good friends, listening to live music and for everyone else glass after glass of wine and beer.

three years is probably still early days of marriage before the real challenges. i don’t think we’re in the honeymoon stage, and consider our ugliest moments proof that this relationship isn’t sugar coated…but then i wonder whether being happy means that this is the honeymoon stage, and only when we’re trudging along have we emerged victorious in that we haven’t quit. i always wonder if you can prepare for a catastrophic blow to your marriage. nate says that we have built a good foundation, that our expectations aren’t happiness and therefore we won’t be disappointed. i see this looming cloud of kids and work and responsibility and circumstances we can’t control as a threat to the easy days we’ve had so far. are we prepared to face grief and will it unite us or break us, because things can change overnight. it sounds dramatic, but i just hope we are not being naive in believing we will forever get along. i hope we can continue to create deep joy and cause for celebration.

baby update: with less than a month to go, this baby could arrive any time! she may be a week late, but hopefully she’ll be a couple days early because my brother has a flight out the day after her due date. are we ready? in some ways yes and in other ways we probably never can be. we have essentials like clothes and diapers, we put together the crib, finished childbirth classes, read a book on pregnancy and delivery and nate is eagerly waiting to meet this baby. some parents make it seem so effortless, others make it seem like a nightmare and i wonder where we’ll fall. there are a couple more things we need to do, like install the car seat, pack a bag for the birth center and write out a birth plan. can i just write “terrified!”?

chicken & rice aug 2012.jpg



  1. goodness gracious I miss you SO MUCH and agonize wondering how old the little one in the cooker will be when I finally get to meet it/him/her. and i don’t think scared shitless needs to be adjusted to sound less crass- it’s eloquent just as it is.


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